Monday, April 23, 2007

Two for the Price of One

It's your lucky day, two rants in the same space as one, and each of the same high quality that keeps you coming back for more (that and the fact that you're all family and friends, and I know where you live)...

As much as I wish I didn't have to, I would be absolutely remissed if I didn't comment on the Red Sox- Yankee game from last night. More correctly, the Red Sox and Yankees took batting practice against each other. There were 6 (count 'em) homeruns hit in the game, including two by Mike Lowell, and 4 in A FRIGGIN' ROW from the Red Sox. The question I ask is, where the hell was the pitching? Aren't these two teams supposed to be the powerhouses of Major League Baseball? Don't powerhouses usually have people who don't throw meatballs when the count is better than 3-0? Even the immortal, sure-fire first ballot Hall of Famer Dice-K Matsuzaka (I contest that he deserves 100% of the votes) had a less than stellar outing, plunking both A-Roid and Derek Jeter (if you're gonna do it, do it right). Pitching is the definite mark of a playoff team, and right now, neither one of these teams has any, as evidenced by the home run derby last night.

When I heard that Boston teed off four times in a row, it made me wonder, "When was the last time that happened, because that's pretty hard to do?" Well, it turns out that the last time it happened was in '06... 2006. Somehow, the media managed to slip the Dodger's four homerun night last summer by me, even though I spend half of my waking hours scouring the web for sports related news. I cannot put it any better than's Peter McEntegart, however, so I will let him finish my point:
"The Red Sox set a new major league record by hitting
back-to-back-to-back-to-back home runs in Sunday's 7-6 win over the Yankees to
sweep the series. Well, teams have technically hit four consecutive homers
before, but those don't really count because it wasn't Yankees-Red Sox."
You have to love when words carry that much truth.

One strange connection between the Dodgers four homerun feat and Bostons turning Fenway Park into a driving range is the presence of JD Drew on both teams. Not only that, Drew homered for both teams during the onslaught, meaning he obviously must have some sort of mystical powers. Lets hope he limits his powers to one night a year, unless he dons Black and Orange one day.

Speaking of the Black and Orange, it almost looked as though my prowess in the sports-media world had finally taken hold. One day after ranting about the lack of coverage the surging Orioles were receiving, I found this headline on's baseball page: Orioles winning, Blue Jays ailing. I was about one second from doing a Chandler Dance in victory for using my considerably squeaky wheel to get some oil for the O's, but alas, I was misled by the tantalizing creativity of the headline editors. When I actually read the article, it became appalling apparent that the purpose of the article was not to exalt the Orioles, but rather to point out that the Orioles' winning streak has been against the likes of Kansas City, Tampa Bay, and Toronto. The writer (a Cliff Corcoran... who is now On Notice) credited the Orioles' winning to the other teams losing, and Toronto falling to pieces because of the injury bug. After the Orioles got some mention in the first paragraph, Mr. Corcoran writes about the Jays woes, then slips back into the norm of writing about the Sox and Yankees (how cliche). Thankfully, he was writing a blog, and the sports world (O's fans and non-O's fans alike) were wise enough to rip him a new one. Click the link to view both the poorly written article, and stick around and read the comments that question his writing ability and his credit as a sports journalist.

After reading the unbearable filth that Mr. Corcoran felt was Internet worthy (it was a slap in the face to blog writers everywhere), I figured I could lick my wounds by reading a credible journalist, the honorable John Donovan, the Power Ranker for baseball on John does the right thing by ranking the Orioles 7th overall (probably a little high... he must've been hanging out with Ricky Williams), but then falls flat by backhanding the crap out the Orioles when he thought no one was reading (I read everything, John Donovan). For the comment next to the #17 Blue Jays, Donovan says "The Jays tumble down the PRs courtesy of a five-game skid, the last three losses to a team (the O's) that shouldn't be beating them." Jerk can go to hell. I'm done with him.

I'd like to end on a happy note, and nothing makes me happier than the misery that is the Washington Nationals. Go here
and scroll down to April 21. Click on "Chico's Wild Pitch", and watch the worst wild pitch since the Mayor of Cincinnati on Opening Day. I'd even go as far to say that this may be the worst display of professional athleticism in the history of sport. The announcer is dead on when he quotes Bob Uecker... this one was "Juuuuuuuuust a bit outside" (outside in this case meaning OVER THE FIRST BASE DUGOUT!!!!). Watch the video, and smile knowing that the Orioles cannot possibly be as bad as the Nats.



ka from passssssssadena said...

I expect that kind of poor writing from a guy like Cliff Corcoran but from John Donovan too? That just hurts.

JoeyP from DC said...

Funny stuff- why would the Nat's put that pitch on their website? I think they're just turning into a novelty act. Soon all their players are going to get into one compact car and drive out to they're positions getting out of the car all at once like a bunch of clowns....