Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Eat Crow-ley

If you haven't read the comments for my last post, you absolutely must. Forget the mindless crap that Keith and I banter about, the real gem is the third post. During the same week that I was entertaining offers from other blog sites, I found out that my humble little blog has an international appeal. The third post is written in what I have determined to be Portuguese. After thorough inspection (and with the help of online translator Babel Fish), it has been determined that the third post says something to the effect of, "Oi, I found your blog for Google well interesting, and I liked this post. When you have time, my blog is on personalized t-shirts, showing step by step how to create a well personalized t-shirt. Until next time." I swear to you I am not making up the translation. If anybody wants to create a "well-personalized" t-shirt, check out Rodrigo's blog; he was even good enough to provide links. God knows how he stumbled upon my blog. On to the rant...

Well, after what seemed like a possible resurgence, the Orioles suck again (oh no!). I can't seem to bring myself to blame Dave Trembley, because he has the team playing hard, and the overall demeanor is definitely different. I can't blame Rockin' Leo, because the starters still pitch pretty well. I can only blame Petey the Greek so many times before he actually dies. That must mean it's old reliable, Terry Crowley.

Anyone who has ever heard my annual Terry Crowley Must Go rants know how this blog will end. This years rants started sometime around April 2nd, when the O's came up absolutely lame against Minnesota in the first game. You see, Crowley is the link, the constant, the mainstay for every year starting in October of 1998. The Orioles haven't had a winning season since 1997, the year before Crowley was brought on board. It's not just a coincidence.

If you may have seen a team under the tutelage of Terry Crowley, but aren't quite sure, ask yourself these questions: Did every player on the team swing at almost every first pitch? Did 90% of contact result in a fly ball out? Did anybody on the team make contact with an inside pitch? Did at least one player strike out swinging at a pitch that was eye level? Did any batter display any sort of patience or pre-meditated approach?

If your answers to the questions were Yes, Yes, No, Yes, and Good God No, then you may have witnessed a Crowley coached team. Seek help by watching other teams, just to see what hitting is really supposed to be like.

Some people have refuted my claims that Crowley is the reason the Oriole offense is consistently inconsistent, saying that it's the players. I again say that Crowley is the only coach with the team since 1998, and every year every hitter is wildly inconsistent. Players for the O's are among the most streaky hitters in baseball. We rarely have more than 3 players hit above .300, and we never know what kind of performance we are going to get on a nightly basis.

Even more, this is Crowley's second stint with the Orioles. When was his first? 1985-1988. Right around the time the team started spiralling into this Depression. Why did he get fired in '88? The team lost the first 21 games and finished with 107 losses. And yet, for some reason unbeknownst to anybody with half a brain, he was rehired ten years later. As my Portuguese readers would say, "porque, meu deus?".

Some credit Crowley with keeping old school traditions alive in the New Era, but it seems to me he is a dinosaur lost in the modern age. For example, Crowley keeps notes on every pitcher on a yellow legal pad. I'm sure if you looked at his files, you could find all you needed to know about Cy Young, Bob Fellar, and Sandy Koufax, but will have a hard time conjuring up any information about Daisuke Matsuzaka and the infamous "gyroball". The simple fact that Crowley can't transfer his records to a computer show that he is afraid to embrace technology and adapt with the times.

Crowley's methods are old and retired, and I wish the same could be said about Crowley. Hopefully, after this year's managerial housecleaning, all the trash will be removed, and Crowley can enjoy retirement. Good night, Portugal.



ka from passssadena said...

First I would like to say hi to Portugal too. Second the "Crow" is a terrible coach. Look at the batting averages for the Orioles. I bet one maybe two players are batting over .300. Thats not good. I say we all get Portugese T-Shirts that say "The Crow has to Go!"

Anonymous said...

that was me who posted after rodrigo. i tried translating in spanish to no avail. i didnt take the time to figure out what it actually was though. that is so funny and RANDOM!


Anonymous said...

and the Yankees are in town...it can't get much worse for the O's!!!!!