You can preach and preach, but sometimes the people nearest to you just do not listen...
The marketing gurus at Campbell's announced who will be carrying the cursed banner of Chunky Soup this year. In an effort to really get the name out there this year, the fine folks at Campbell's decided to lower the hammer on an unprecedented eight players this year! Unfortunately, one of the unlucky is someone who needs no help being cursed.
The Unlucky Eight are: LaDainian Tomlinson, Jonathan Vilma, Larry Johnson, Maurice Jones-Drew, Demarcus Ware, Devin Hester, Matt Hasselbeck (some people never learn), and Todd Heap. While the rest can go and get injured and be unlucky all they want, I make this lone request of the football gods: leave the Heap alone. For the love of all things holy, leave the Heap alone.
The seven players who do not don the purple and black can do however they please, because they all represent obstacles that just stand in the way of the Ravens reaching the pinnacle of football. The issue I have with using eight players in a cursed ad campaign is the impact it has on the fantasy footballers of America. LT, LJ, Jones-Drew, and even Hasselbeck all carry some weight when it comes to the only game America loves more than football. LT and LJ are sure to be top 5 picks in every draft, and Jones-Drew will most likely be taken in the late first or second round rounds of most drafts. All of these players now have huge targets on their backs, and join Vince Young as people to be avoided in fantasy drafts.
But how? How do we avoid five premier offensive players in football just because of some goofy curse? The answer is, we can't. I am firmly of the belief that Campbell's is overloading the curse in an attempt to break it. By using eight players, Campbell's is trying to guarantee itself that at least one will escape the season unscathed. They have used a multitude of diverse players in the past, but never all in the same year. Past Soup sponsors have included Donovan McNabb (Mr. Curse himself, falling victim to Campbell's, Madden, and Super Bowl Loser), Reggie White late in his career, John Elway, Terrell Davis, Jerome Bettis, Brian Urlacher, and the official spokesperson of motorcycle safety, Ben Worthlessberger. All of these players experienced unusual amounts of hardship in the year they ate the soup. It's not coincidence, but it might be ending.
This is an unprecedented attempt at breaking a curse. Nobody has ever thought to overload it in an attempt to drown it. The Red Sox beat their curse the only way they know how: get it so overexposed in the media that even the baseball gods couldn't take it anymore. But Campbell's is looking to be a pioneer in curse breaking. They're going to face the demon head on and try to beat it. If this works, maybe next year the Madden cover will feature a group photo of every player in the NFL.
All that aside, what the hell are you thinking, Todd Heap? Do you not hurt your ankle bad enough each year already? Every week you look at the injury report, and it's "Todd Heap, Questionable, Ankle". We don't need more of that, and tempting fate has never been the Ravens' forte. It just seems to me that the Ravens were better suited to fly low under the radar this year, and now Heap has gone and blown that, and for what? Free Soup? Campbell's Chunky isn't even that good. Soup should be smooth and soothing, not chunky. Chunky soup is just a fancy name for stew. If Todd Heap was a faithful reader and knew that Kurt does in fact know best, he would have read the end of the very first post: Here's hoping that the Ravens are eating Progresso this year. So much for that. Thanks a lot, Todd.
Peace.
Showing posts with label soup. Show all posts
Showing posts with label soup. Show all posts
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Curses!
Well its official... a couple of things are actually.
#1, welcome to Kurt Nose Best, the only place to get my rantings about the sports world, the real world, and other topics as I so choose. This will be my official place to rant, so henceforth, if you feel one of my opinion storms coming on, check here first. I'm sure I have something to say on almost anything.
#2, this will be my only comment on VT... its a horrible tragedy, and it could have happened anywhere. Instead of blaming the police and the administration, we should blame the gunman, because it was truly his fault and his alone. My heart goes out to all who suddenly have a little dimmer outlook on life.
#3, its that time of the year again... Madden cover unveiling! Like so many things in football, this is a minuscule event blown up to epic proportions for the sole reason that it deals with the NFL, the undisputed ruler of the sports world. But as any diehard NFL-er knows, the Madden cover isn't a position of distinction or a truly blessed honor... its a bloody curse!
Ever since Madden 2001 chose Eddie George as its cover boy, things have gone awry for the game's coverboy, and in most cases, the player's team... lets recap:
2001, Eddie George: sure, the argument can be made that George did not fall victim to the curse, since his Madden season was statistically better than the one before it. If you ask the Titans, though, the curse bit hard in the AFC playoffs that year. It was George who ended the Titans Super Bowl repeat bid when he seemingly lateraled to Ray Lewis in the closing minutes of the Divisional Round playoff game with my Ravens. George and the Titans were never the same.
2002, Daunte Culpepper: the cure bit hard here. Not only did 'Pep get injured during his cover year, he almost recovered from a post-curse hangover, only to have every (insert letter)CL in his knee ripped up, and jettisoned to the Dolphins, where hes been abysmal, frankly.
2003, Marshall Faulk: Faulk is a typical curse case, having a substantially less productive and injured riddled year during his cover year.
2004, Mike Vick: Vick is all the proof one needs to indicate the curse really exists. Vick didn't even make it to the season... he broke his leg the day after the game came out, and missed all but 5 games.
2005, Ray Lewis: I think if anybody came close to breaking the curse, it was Ray Ray (naturally). Ray was fine for most the year, helped Ed Reed win defensive MVP, and almost played the entire year (he broke his wrist before week 17). He did not, however, record an interception for the only time in his career, and the Ravens missed the playoffs.
2006, Donovan McNabb: As if playing with TO isn't enough of a curse, McNabb has this neaped upon him. One sports hernia and embarrassing Philly season later, and Donovan had enough of Madden.
2007, Shaun Alexander: Alexander and his Seahawks tried to tempt fate on every level, tackling the Big Three Curses head on (the other two being Campbell's Chunky soup and Super Bowl loser; more on those in a bit). Alexander was not big enough to overcome, however, breaking his foot early in the season. If it wasn't for Tony Romo, the Seahawks would have also made an early exit from the playoffs, as well.
So all that being said, who is this year's pick of inevitable injury and plague? None other than NFL darling and all around good guy, Titans QB Vince Young (did Eddie teach them nothing?). You heard it here first... Vince Young will not play all 16 games next season. He will get hurt. Consider that carefully in your fantasy draft. To stack the deck even more, Young will be fighting the dreaded sophomore slump, which may prove to be just too much for the Wonderboy. It is my humble prediction (take it to the bank) that Vince Young v2.0 will no longer be "In"Vince"able" Young.
The other two curses to beware of this year? Super Bowl losers have been pathetic since the Giants of 2001 (don't ever mess with Ray & co), and so this year's Bears will be a huge disappointment compared to last year. The good news is, the rest of the team sucking will finally match Rex Grossman's strong suits.
Finally, this year's Chunky Soup campaign has threatened to ruin the careers of 8 (count 'em!) players this year. Chunky Soup is no small scale curse, either (see Warner, Kurt; Roethlisberger, Ben; Hasslebeck, Matt). Campbell's is yet to announce the names of its latest eight victims, but here's hoping that the Ravens are eating Progresso this year!
Peace.
#1, welcome to Kurt Nose Best, the only place to get my rantings about the sports world, the real world, and other topics as I so choose. This will be my official place to rant, so henceforth, if you feel one of my opinion storms coming on, check here first. I'm sure I have something to say on almost anything.
#2, this will be my only comment on VT... its a horrible tragedy, and it could have happened anywhere. Instead of blaming the police and the administration, we should blame the gunman, because it was truly his fault and his alone. My heart goes out to all who suddenly have a little dimmer outlook on life.
#3, its that time of the year again... Madden cover unveiling! Like so many things in football, this is a minuscule event blown up to epic proportions for the sole reason that it deals with the NFL, the undisputed ruler of the sports world. But as any diehard NFL-er knows, the Madden cover isn't a position of distinction or a truly blessed honor... its a bloody curse!
Ever since Madden 2001 chose Eddie George as its cover boy, things have gone awry for the game's coverboy, and in most cases, the player's team... lets recap:
2001, Eddie George: sure, the argument can be made that George did not fall victim to the curse, since his Madden season was statistically better than the one before it. If you ask the Titans, though, the curse bit hard in the AFC playoffs that year. It was George who ended the Titans Super Bowl repeat bid when he seemingly lateraled to Ray Lewis in the closing minutes of the Divisional Round playoff game with my Ravens. George and the Titans were never the same.
2002, Daunte Culpepper: the cure bit hard here. Not only did 'Pep get injured during his cover year, he almost recovered from a post-curse hangover, only to have every (insert letter)CL in his knee ripped up, and jettisoned to the Dolphins, where hes been abysmal, frankly.
2003, Marshall Faulk: Faulk is a typical curse case, having a substantially less productive and injured riddled year during his cover year.
2004, Mike Vick: Vick is all the proof one needs to indicate the curse really exists. Vick didn't even make it to the season... he broke his leg the day after the game came out, and missed all but 5 games.
2005, Ray Lewis: I think if anybody came close to breaking the curse, it was Ray Ray (naturally). Ray was fine for most the year, helped Ed Reed win defensive MVP, and almost played the entire year (he broke his wrist before week 17). He did not, however, record an interception for the only time in his career, and the Ravens missed the playoffs.
2006, Donovan McNabb: As if playing with TO isn't enough of a curse, McNabb has this neaped upon him. One sports hernia and embarrassing Philly season later, and Donovan had enough of Madden.
2007, Shaun Alexander: Alexander and his Seahawks tried to tempt fate on every level, tackling the Big Three Curses head on (the other two being Campbell's Chunky soup and Super Bowl loser; more on those in a bit). Alexander was not big enough to overcome, however, breaking his foot early in the season. If it wasn't for Tony Romo, the Seahawks would have also made an early exit from the playoffs, as well.
So all that being said, who is this year's pick of inevitable injury and plague? None other than NFL darling and all around good guy, Titans QB Vince Young (did Eddie teach them nothing?). You heard it here first... Vince Young will not play all 16 games next season. He will get hurt. Consider that carefully in your fantasy draft. To stack the deck even more, Young will be fighting the dreaded sophomore slump, which may prove to be just too much for the Wonderboy. It is my humble prediction (take it to the bank) that Vince Young v2.0 will no longer be "In"Vince"able" Young.
The other two curses to beware of this year? Super Bowl losers have been pathetic since the Giants of 2001 (don't ever mess with Ray & co), and so this year's Bears will be a huge disappointment compared to last year. The good news is, the rest of the team sucking will finally match Rex Grossman's strong suits.
Finally, this year's Chunky Soup campaign has threatened to ruin the careers of 8 (count 'em!) players this year. Chunky Soup is no small scale curse, either (see Warner, Kurt; Roethlisberger, Ben; Hasslebeck, Matt). Campbell's is yet to announce the names of its latest eight victims, but here's hoping that the Ravens are eating Progresso this year!
Peace.
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